Funny Stories that Aren't Random or Script!
by Swee
Summary: Doesn't anybody believe in Grammar anymore? A series of short stories, depending on what the readers feel.
1. Default Chapter

Funny Things that Aren't in Script Format!

Author's Note: The cast is Leon, Yuffie, and Aerith. There are plenty of fics that are funny, but they are in script format! Grrrrrrrrrrr! Is writing a complete sentence really that hard? Most of you insinuate you're in high school, for yevon's sake. No, bad me. Bashing is bad. I don't know anything about FF7, but I will write Aerith to the best of my ability. There is also no Squiffie or Squarith-ness, SquallxRinoa is the true pairing.

O.o

Story Title: Scouts are Scary

O.o

"No." he growled. "Please? Training with us would make us more capable in combat." Aerith stated. Yuffie stared at her in amazement. Although she was gentle, this was the closest Aerith ever got to begging. "I said no!" he bellowed, and that was final.

O.o

"We have to do something! We need some place to train where it isn't dangerous, and Squall's our man." Yuffie complained, collasping onto the bed of the Red Room. "It's Le-" Aerith clapped her hands to her mouth and an embarassed silence followed. Yuffie decided to remedy the awkward situation by saying, "I say we make a plan."

O.o

Leon groaned, stashed his frightening porn under his matress, and answered the door to the Green Room."Girl Scouts of Traverse Town!" a girl in a plaid blue skirt, white blouse, and navy sash chirped. Pinned on the sash were ribbons in a loop pattern. He eyed the pair carefully. One was wearing a blonde ponytail but seemed almost too tall for a Girl Scout, and was carrying a flag. Her eyes were green.The other had shoulder-length brown hair, and blue eyes.

"What is it?" He didn't snap, but his voice sounded dangerous, nonetheless. "We would like it if you were to buy our pins and chocolate bars!" squealed the blonde intruder. He gave her an intimidating glare and snarled coldly, "No thank you."

"Leon Leonhart," (Author's Note: Gee, what a redundant name!) threatened the blonde haired girl, lowering her flag,"You will buy our products." The brown haired Scout brought out a pair of knives. Without another word they attacked him vicously, and soon had him cornered against a wall.

Despite his best efforts, even with the Gunblade, Leon was losing. As he was pummeled against the wall and began to loose conciousness, he thought: "Scouts are scary." He hit the floor with a heavy thud as he passed out.

O.o

Yuffie pulled off her brown wig and slapped Aerith a high-five. Aerith disentangled her brown braid from the blond cover and said, a little nervously, "Do you think we overdid it?" "Not a chance." Yuffie grinned.

O.o

Author's Note: I will write more short stories if you like them. I didn't say my story would be much better than a random fic, just with better grammar.


	2. Jealous Anger

Funny Things that Aren't in Script Format!

Author's Note: So, I guess I was a little harsh, but being a grammar natzi is in my blood. My mother was obsessed with grammar, my grandmother was obsessed with grammar, so on and so forth.Yuna isa bit OOC in this chapter, buther wrath is righteous.

O.o

Yuna entered through the door in the Secret Place into Destiny Islands. To say she was **pissed** beyond belief was an understatement. That evil, evil Selphie, and Wakka...

She stomped across the island (Why was that damn place so small anyway?) and located her object of affection and agravation: Tidus. He turned and saw her, then called out, "Hey Yuna!" "Screw you!" she shrieked, latching on to the back of his collar and dragging him across the beach.

"What's wrong?" the lovable idiot referred to as Tidus asked. Yuna, tired of dragging him, summoned Valefor to carry him in it's talons. "Really, what's wrong?" Tidus asked from his spot five feet off of the ground. "You're a whore!" with that, Yuna gave him the most lethal, poisonous glare imaginable when-

A skinny man, his black hair tipped with blonde appeared out of nowhere and yelled, "I am the master of evil glares!!! How dare you incur my bloody wrath!" "Who the hell are you?" Tidus asked. "I am Albel Nox. That wench of yours just challenged me my throne." the black-haired man growled. "I'm a priestess, shemale!" Yuna retorted. "I challenge you to a glaring contest, man-beast!" Albel snarled. "Bring it on, bitch-puppy!" Yuna spat.

Thus they evil-eyed each other for about five seconds when Yuna turned away, and proceeded to roll around in agony on the white beach sand. "It BURNS!" she shrieked. Albel smirked, brought out a dagger, and scratched the word 'wuss' on her forehead. "Done." he said, and with a _pop_, he was gone.

Tidus looked up at Valefor, who was still carrying him. "Can you let me down now?" he asked. Valefor looked down at him, then said, "Sorry, you're too sexy a hunk of manflesh for that. I'll bring you and Riku to Shiva." With that, the air aeon shot off.

O.o

Author's Note: Like I said, Yuna was OOC. For those of you who haven't played Star Ocean: Till the End of Time Albel Nox is the badass, sorta like Auron.


End file.
